Elder Abuse and How to Get Help

By: Virginia Leigh, LICSW 

Many of us hear about elder abuse happening and we assume it can’t be occurring in our families, or less, to ourselves. According to the National Council on Aging, however, elder abuse is a pervasive problem impacting 1 in 10 seniors in the country. And more often than not, the perpetrators of abuse and neglect are family members of the older person. 

It’s important to know the kinds of abuse that can occur and to know how to prevent such occurrences and keep yourself safe. Abuse is not just physically harming someone. It can occur in a number of forms, each having a detrimental impact on an elder person’s emotional, physical and financial health. Abuse can be financial in nature (exploiting a person’s financial resources without knowledge or consent), emotional/psychological, confinement (restricting the physical movement of someone), and sexual. Sometimes abuse occurs through neglect, in other words, whether intentionally or unintentionally NOT providing the care an older adult depends on such as medications, hygiene, or food. 

Because abuse so often occurs at the hands of people who are in charge of your care (either family members or hired caregivers); it can be very difficult to know if you’re being mistreated, what to do, and even who you can trust. There are several critical questions to ask yourself in  order to know whether you might need help: As you reflect on the people in your life, consider these questions:

1. Do the people who care for me generally listen to my concerns and treat me with respect? 
2. Do my caregivers do their best to keep me physically safe and never hit, shove or restrain me?
3. Do the people in my life respect my body and never touch me in sexual ways I don’t consent to? 
4. Do my caregivers provide me with food and all my medications when I need them?
5. If someone else cares for my finances, do they answer my questions about my finances and show me my statements and accounts when I ask? 

If the answer to any of the above questions was no, you may be experiencing elder abuse and you should reach out to someone you trust and feel safe with to let them know. If you don’t feel safe with anyone in your life, or aren’t sure who you can trust, please call the statewide elder abuse hotline any time day or night at: (800) 922-2275. If you are in a life threatening emergency please call 911. The important thing to know is that there are people who are committed to helping you, honoring your dignity, and protecting your safety and they have the tools to help.